Allists tap their fingers, but autists self-stimulate (abbr., stim).

Put another way, as autistic author melanie yergeau writes, being diagnosed meant that “my hand and full-body movements became self-stimulatory behaviors”.

But everyone stims(!), with contemporary (but nascent) research suggesting that “autism traits” are “distributed normally” throughout the entire human population (as discussed here).

Semantics aside, stimming has been “re-claimed” (read: claimed) by actual autists (e.g., #StimFreely) as a means of taking pride in our bodies.

This post, then, is meant to serve as a drop in the ocean of autism representation.

And if i am going to represent my-self (and autism) wholly and truthfully, i need to also note my privileges in stimming freely.

White autists and Black autists are not perceived equally or equitably in America, to give one example.

So as a middle-class, White, autistic social-worker, when i stim spontaneously on a crowded bus or out on a crisis call with the police, i am acutely aware of the privileges that allow me to do so (relatively) peacefully and safely (relatively in that i am still often uncomfortable stimming in public, am sometimes still shamed for it, and am terrified of police bias around my disabilities).

To give an-other example, many autists stim involuntarily.

As an autist who can sometimes (1) refrain from stimming and (2) do so whilst self-soothing, i recognize how my bodily- and race-based privileges intersect to afford me much freedom, safety, and inner peace.

And checking privilege is not about checking boxes; it’s about (from my perspective) acknowledging my infinite ignorance and maintaining an awareness of others’ lack of privilege and subsequently using that awareness (and privilege) to help bridge gaps of inequity.

Thus, in addition to representation, let this post serve as a spot-light on privilege.

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I swish drinks around for the mouth-feels (the more carbonated the beverage the better).
And i go “ahhh!” after i swallow.

I move my knees side-to-side when i’m concentrating sitting down.
I rock my body back-and-forth when i’m concentrating sitting down.
Sometimes i do both.
I love rocking chairs.

I rub my hands together before grabbing food.

I’ll bang on anything to make it into a musical instrument (chainlink fence, drinking bottle, my head, etc.).

I like to fold things as small as possible whenever i can get the chance.

I shake my body to de-stress.

I’m constantly scrunching my toes and flexing my feet.

I hum improvised tunes in my head.

I add sound effects to my movements and interactions.

I think better in conversation when i have something to play with in my hands.

I immediately organize every surface i interact with.
Organization gives me pinball brain.

I drum constantly;
with or without music (although there’s always something in my head);
on my legs with my hands;
on the ground with my feet;
on my phone case with my fingers;
on the edge of my work desk with a pen.

I perform live music.

I play music for my-self.

I pick my cuticles.

I bite my cheeks.

I stretch my jaw.

I crack my knuckles.

I touch titillating textures.

I close my eyes.

I pace back-and-forth.
I stand in place.

I twirl a string.

I repeat sounds and words i enjoy.

I pull apart silly putty.

I smell flowers i see.

I smell my fingers.

I hug my friends.

I hug my-self.

I condition my bones with bamboo sticks.
I kick parking meters.
I hit trees.

I do spontaneous silat.
I dance like a flower.

I stretch my arms.
I swing them up and down.

I flap my fingers and my hands.

I gaze at dew drops glistening like sparkles.

I give a high-five.

I give a big sigh.

I slap my spouse’s hand.
They slap mine.

I stare at the rainbows on the walls.

I turn the rings on my fingers.

I move my feet like a swimmer when i sleep.

I love a bad smell.

I habitually roll up long sleeves.

I could go on and on.

You’re welcome.

❁

Thoughts? Leave a comment; start a conversation! Thank you for reading.