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Tag: Identity

Why i Haven’t Been Posting

Why i Haven’t Been Posting

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In brief: life outside of being a full-time counselor at a dysfunctional inpatient mental health rehabilitation program for people experiencing moderate to severe mental ill-health is challenging for me right now. I have written. Drafts on things that have helped me realize i’m autistic; the word ‘neuroqueer’; and my thoughts on the state of violence in the world. Yet i have not been able to finish them because of my current inability to translate my feelings into thoughts and words….

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What It’s Like to Want to Suicide Every Day

What It’s Like to Want to Suicide Every Day

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I can’t remember the last day that passed without a thought of suicide. I’ve thought about it as long as i can remember. I have suicidal thoughts going back to the single digits (this is not uncommon for autists). Suicidal thoughts are so frequent for me that i often consider carrying a book around to track them, just to know if i ever have days without one. (I haven’t done this for fear that i don’t.) Practically anything can trigger…

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The Accountant: Autism and Pencak Silat in Contemporary Media

The Accountant: Autism and Pencak Silat in Contemporary Media

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Content Warning: trauma, bullying, violence, death, micro-aggressions, spoilers I think i’ll take this week to switch things up with a film analysis. While i’ve previously discussed autism in contemporary media twice — the film Mary and Max, here, and the U.S. TV series The Office, here — i’ve not done so in a while, nor at such length. Today i want to explore The Accountant‘s portrayals of autism, disability, and pencak silat (abbr., silat) I saw it in theaters with…

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Call Me By My Name/s

Call Me By My Name/s

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My name is joshua. My pronouns are they/them/theirs and joshua.I am neuro-queer and gender-vague. I also have no name; or pronouns; or neuro-type; or gender; and i am no-one. Having a break-down woke me up to the understanding that my identity has been largely shaped by external sources. “My” given birth-name is Joshua, and “my” given nick-name is Josh. “My” given pronouns are he/him, and “my” given “sex/gender” is male/man. And so on. I didn’t choose these things as fundamental…

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Person-First or Identity-First? It’s Simple; Both!

Person-First or Identity-First? It’s Simple; Both!

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The debate over whether to use person-first language (PFL) (e.g., person with autism) or identity-first language (IFL) (e.g., autistic person) has been ongoing within the autism community, and while many identify with and use PFL, the majority seem to identify with and use IFL. I’d like to end this debate by pointing out one simple thing: it’s a red herring! In other words, it should not be a discussion of one versus the other (as the argument posits). This fallacy…

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What i Joke About When i Joke About Allism

What i Joke About When i Joke About Allism

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On this blog, i have joked about allism a lot, so i thought i’d take some time to identify the ironic undertones at the heart of allism’s etymology and intended purpose. Specifically, i’d like to talk about what’s not being talked about when i joke about allism. When i read out-of-context jokes about allism, they can (sometimes) seem harsh (if only slightly) from an allistic (read: not autistic) perspective. (Wait, aren’t autists supposed to be unable to empathize?) And while…

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A Brief Pause for Raisons D’être

A Brief Pause for Raisons D’être

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My pragmatic language is not a problem for me. It becomes a problem when society values attention over (and as an assumption of) intent. In addition to my ability to make consistent eye-contact (despite finding it uncomfortable in certain contexts), i have an impeccable ability to interpret others’ levels of comfortability and attention based on their body language. For example, i was greeting dogs properly since i was a child; their fear of direct eye-contact/approach and comfortability with indirect eye-contact…

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(Neuro)Queering Medical Rhetoric: The Case Against Autism Functioning Labels

(Neuro)Queering Medical Rhetoric: The Case Against Autism Functioning Labels

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TL;DR appears post-script. First and fore-most, let me say that functioning labels are not formal medical or clinical terms with regard to autism. They are not formally recognized medical conditions them-selves, and the DSM (or what i ironize as “the clinician’s dictionary”) no longer recognizes “low- or high-functioning autism” as official classifications (note that they were actually never diagnoses). This distinction is necessary (in my opinion) when philosophizing about issues of “good and bad” (in this case, whether or not…

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Four Years Later, Disability Is Still Too White

Four Years Later, Disability Is Still Too White

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I am White, non-binary, neuroqueer, and disabled. I believe it is crucial to be transparent as soon as possible about my positionality (where relevant) when discussing intersectional issues related to disability (and always starting with Whiteness to highlight how my White privilege directly and deleteriously impacts the other [already-marginalized] communities i identify with). Whiteness’ vague definition, which has been (and still is) debated throughout history, is insidious in the way it de-identifies it-self with race and affords White people the…

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(Self) Diagnosis and the Paradox of Pathology

(Self) Diagnosis and the Paradox of Pathology

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I used to believe that if i couldn’t understand my-self, perhaps someone more familiar with my experiences could. I still do (to a degree), but now i put more belief in my ability to gain self-awareness and the power that that self-awareness has in helping me find the support i need. Although it may also come from a place of ignorance and/or misguidance, i believe the field of psychology wields diagnostic authority as a means of harnessing and maintaining control…

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