Content Warning: dis-ordered eating

Why not The Starving Autist?
I’m sure i’m not the only one.

Why not A Starving Autist?
Starving Autist looks and sounds better (to me).

Why Starving?
I’ve always hated food, and i’ve always been “under-weight” (a word i now give little weight). I have distinct memories (equally hilarious and troublesome) of both (1) hiding food around the house when no one was looking and (2) being the last one at the dinner-table, my plate still full and my mom waiting frustratedly.

The problem persists today only without the need to hide food or wait uncomfortably at the dinner-table. As an independent adult, the manifestation of this problem now looks like microwaved meals, little to no vegetables (and a decent amount of junk food), a lack of physical motivation to cook (as much as i might want to), and preparing new meals only to throw them out after realizing i would rather go hungry than consume them.

As a wordie (ha) with great privilege, i took (and take) very seriously the notion of starvation with regard to my positionality, and i took much time to ruminate on my identities and privileges before creating this blog. I am White in a metropolitan city on the west coast of the United States; i come from a middle-class home; i have the means (financially, geographically, logistically) to obtain an adequate amount of food; and i will (likely) not die from starvation, as one definition of the word necessitates.

My reasons for continuing to pursue the title Starving Autist, however, are three-fold: (1) that the resources available to me have not indicated this use to be incorrect or offensive; (2) that the dictionary (which is, in opposition to my point, notably and historically White and ableist) definition includes “suffering” as a sole defining component of the word; and (3) that i strongly (emotionally) resonate with, and take solace in identifying as, starving.

Still a wordie, though, i am always keeping an ear to the ground in maintaining an awareness of the gravity of this word and how it impacts others, and i remain open to criticism and change. More on Starving, food, and privilege in future posts.

Why Autist?
For one, i love a good back-formation.

And from what i’ve observed, autist is rarely used as a noun even among autists, despite being defined as early as 1922 (compared to autistic which was defined at most twelve years prior). Because autistic is currently both the leading (read: common) noun and adjective, it makes sense to me that a back-formation could be beneficial in differentiating between the two.

I was introduced to the word autist by autistic author melanie yergeau from their book Authoring Autism, and i haven’t looked back since. Ironically, and to my point here, yergeau conflates autist and autistic in the aforementioned book numerous times (e.g. “autistic-authored”). To me, this reads as “authored by autism”, when i believe what yergeau is (and others are) meaning to convey is “authored by an autistic person”.

To distinguish between these variations, subtle as they may be, is ridiculously important (in my opinion) in the context of the history of oppression of autistic and disabled people.

To insinuate that something is authored by autism rather than an autist is to revoke from that person their due credit and (more exigently) their humanity. Thus, i would (and implore others to) employ autist as a noun and autistic as an adjective.

All that said, individual identity is also crucial in disabled communities, and i absolutely would not argue with any autist that disagrees with the above.

More on Autist (duh), grammar, and identity in future posts.

Why Starving Autist?
Simple. I love word-play. Puns, spoonerisms, double- and (even better) triple-entendres; bring ’em on. Starving Autist has literal meaning (in that i am starving and autistic); it is a (relatively) homophonic pun (in that autist sounds like artist, and that starving artist is a common expression); and, lastly (also, my favorite), it is a play-on-words due to the nature of my profession (social work), which is similar to the starving artist’s lack of recognition and inability to make significant earnings from their work.

And there you have it. A little more about me, and a little more context to this blog.

❁

Thoughts? Leave a comment; start a conversation! Thank you for reading.