Today is the last day of 2023, and i haven’t posted since August 2022, however, it is merely a coincidence that i am posting at this time after so long.

Big changes are coming to my life (and this website), and i want to inform those of you who are tuned in to what you might expect of me in 2024.

As of this month, and despite chronic hopelessness and emotional anguish (2023 has looked/felt like hell on Earth to me), i have completed my 3,000 hours for applying for licensure in clinical social work in California (!!!).

(I have also been teaching pencak silat classes under the supervision of Guru Rennie Saunders since February this year, an accomplishment that has been a dream of mine since discovering my love for martial arts at age 13 and which disability and chronic mental ill-health have always influenced me to believe impossible.)

I will be submitting my final paperwork soon for review by the BBS, which i have heard can take as long as three-to-six months, and once approved will take (and pass, insha’Allah) the LCSW exam, at which point i will officially be a licensed social worker/therapist.

I expect to be licensed between April and July 2024.

Once licensed i plan to begin working in private practice as an individual therapist as soon as possible, the timeline of which may be complicated by competing financial, employment, and housing opportunities currently being considered by me and my spouse, some of which would affect said timeline.

Regardless of the outcome of these considerations, i do plan to begin my private practice some time in 2024 (also !!!).

This brings us to the website.

While i did consider ending/removing this blog and completely transforming the website into a commercial one, i decided on a hybrid commercial/personal website after realizing that the above consideration manifested (partially) from an unhealthy fear of self-disclosure affecting client rapport (in addition to the challenges that consistent blogging present for me).

It is during times of self-reflexivity like this that i remember the words of Frank Herbert in Dune:

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.”

Within that quote, the juxtaposition of the words ‘little’ and ‘total’ stand out to me. Fear is little, and the death it brings is total.

What this juxtaposition means to me is two-fold: that fear of fear is justifiable because of its ability to be wholly destructive, and that, to prevent self-destruction, fear necessitates action (whether that’s listening to messages of healthy fear responses or obliterating those of unhealthy ones).

Furthermore, what stands out to me among those two words is that fear is vulnerable to love, or faith, because its future-focus is intangible and limiting (thus making it ‘little’), where love and faith are present-focused and based on tangible objects and boundless possibilities (thus making them ‘big’).

I appreciate Frank Herbert’s ability to concisely convey magnificent messages.

I am committed to increasing the representation and understanding of neuroqueerity globally.

I am moving forward with love for my-self and others, faith for the equanimity of life on Earth, and gratitude for the richness of life.

All that said, i will obviously be quite busy during these major transitions, and my blogging may remain inconsistent, though i am committed to maintaining the same quality of content with regard to self-disclosure of my personal experiences with neuro-queerity, gender-vaguery, and privilege.

In other words, don’t expect changes in content like, “How To Not Feel Lonely Anymore”.

As i approach licensure and private practice, the text and appearance of this website will be changing, and certain pages may be temporarily unavailable as they are updated.

These changes will not affect the blog page, which will remain available and (inconsistently) active.

I am looking forward to bringing my therapeutic services and words to more people in 2024 and the years beyond.

Thank you for following my story and supporting me in combatting my thoughts of hopelessness and feelings of anguish.

❁

Thoughts? Leave a comment. Start a conversation. Thank you for reading.