Today is the last day of 2023, and i haven’t posted since August 2022, however, it is merely a coincidence that i am posting at this time after so long. Big changes are coming to my life (and this website), and i want to inform those of you who are tuned in to what you might expect of me in 2024. As of this month, and despite chronic hopelessness and emotional anguish (2023 has looked/felt like hell on Earth to…
In brief: life outside of being a full-time counselor at a dysfunctional inpatient mental health rehabilitation program for people experiencing moderate to severe mental ill-health is challenging for me right now. I have written. Drafts on things that have helped me realize i’m autistic; the word ‘neuroqueer’; and my thoughts on the state of violence in the world. Yet i have not been able to finish them because of my current inability to translate my feelings into thoughts and words….
I wrote my last blog post over a year ago. It was about what it’s like for me to want to suicide every day. A lot has happened for me since then. I graduated with my master’s in social work. Moved back to my hometown, to a house by the beach in the neighborhood i was born in. Got a job near my house where i am earning my LCSW hours. Wrote and delivered a sermon about autism and mental…
My pragmatic language is not a problem for me. It becomes a problem when society values attention over (and as an assumption of) intent. In addition to my ability to make consistent eye-contact (despite finding it uncomfortable in certain contexts), i have an impeccable ability to interpret others’ levels of comfortability and attention based on their body language. For example, i was greeting dogs properly since i was a child; their fear of direct eye-contact/approach and comfortability with indirect eye-contact…
TL;DR appears post-script. First and fore-most, let me say that functioning labels are not formal medical or clinical terms with regard to autism. They are not formally recognized medical conditions them-selves, and the DSM (or what i ironize as “the clinician’s dictionary”) no longer recognizes “low- or high-functioning autism” as official classifications (note that they were actually never diagnoses). This distinction is necessary (in my opinion) when philosophizing about issues of “good and bad” (in this case, whether or not…
I am White, non-binary, neuroqueer, and disabled. I believe it is crucial to be transparent as soon as possible about my positionality (where relevant) when discussing intersectional issues related to disability (and always starting with Whiteness to highlight how my White privilege directly and deleteriously impacts the other [already-marginalized] communities i identify with). Whiteness’ vague definition, which has been (and still is) debated throughout history, is insidious in the way it de-identifies it-self with race and affords White people the…
Content Warning: trauma, suicide, death, drug use, abandonment, spoilers I have a vivid memory of the first time i watched the 2009 Australian claymation film Mary and Max. I had recently turned 18, and one of my great friends had died suddenly earlier that year from health complications they were unaware of. Mary and Max played on a relatively old CRT-TV in the basement of the house of a friend (whom i didn’t care too much for). I sat watching…
I used to believe that if i couldn’t understand my-self, perhaps someone more familiar with my experiences could. I still do (to a degree), but now i put more belief in my ability to gain self-awareness and the power that that self-awareness has in helping me find the support i need. Although it may also come from a place of ignorance and/or misguidance, i believe the field of psychology wields diagnostic authority as a means of harnessing and maintaining control…
The internet is rife with blog- and forum-posts on the pathologization of characters in the U.S. TV series The Office, specifically regarding autism spectrum dis-order (ASD). From Michael to Angela to (the most common) Dwight, ASD stereotypes have been applied to the behaviors of these beloved characters (by autists and allists alike) to argue for or against their likeness to autists. Indeed, every character on the show has been pathologized by internet users in one way or another. One reason…
Content Warning: trauma, forced compliance, gaslighting When i graduated from university with my b.a. in psychology and human sexuality, i had been in school for 19 consecutive years. By that point, and in spite of my valiant effort to avoid burn-out (by taking my higher education slowly), my candle was burnt at both ends from the oppressive “color-within-the-lines” antiquities of the draconian U.S. public school system. (Clearly bitter; i attribute much of my suffering throughout my education to the [dangerous]…