Today i’d like to discuss work.

And sweat.

I have hyperhidrosis.

It presents (for me) as excessive sweating on my hands, feet, neck, back, and under-arms.

The more i sweat, the more i worry about sweating, and the more i sweat…

As you can imagine, this leads to a pretty vicious cycle.

It also goes unrecognized by others and is an invisible disability in this way.

Showering provides little relief. I am sweating as soon as i step out and dry off.

I frequently appear as if i’m attempting to cool down (e.g., flapping my shirt), when in fact i’m attempting to dry off.

I frequently stand outside and in front of fans.

If i don’t change my socks, my feet and shoes stink, and my moist socks and shoes agitate my athlete’s foot.

Additionally, if i remain in moist clothing, i will surely continue sweating.

If i don’t wear deodorant, my under-arms stink. But i hate deodorant, and the feeling of it under my arms just makes me sweat more.

If i don’t dry my hands or feet with a towel, they remain wet. Applying hand sanitizer regularly is often a problem for me because it catalyzes hyperhidrosis and keeps my hands wet.

When my hands remain wet, i cover everything i touch in sweat. Then when i touch the wet items, i sweat more from anxiety.

And then come the negative, judgmental comments on my odors.

And the concerned looks on my sweat-covered items.

And the upset reactions on shaking my hand.

Don’t shake my hand.

Further, certain clothing textures agitate my hyperhidrosis.

Certain ambient temperatures agitate it.

Anxiety agitates it.

Depression agitates it.

The more i sweat, the more i feel sweaty. And the more i feel sweaty…

… the more i am afraid to live any longer knowing this will be forever.

Hyperhidrosis is a big deal and a serious disability.

It triggers suicidal ideation and agitates depression.

Depression agitates anxiety.

Anxiety agitates hyperhidrosis…

… you get the point.

A silver lining to this pandemic for me has been the extinction of the hand-shake.

Prior to U.S. society developing a greater fear of germs during this pandemic, hand-shaking was so common-place that i was literally challenged every time i declined a hand-shake.

This led me to no longer feel comfortable declining hand-shakes.

This pandemic, however, has finally allowed me to develop the courage to decline hand-shakes.

With our new fear of germs, i am more confident in my ability to decline hand-shakes going forward under the condition that i am simply avoiding germs.

This allows me to avoid outing my disability as well as to be well-received by whomever is offering me a hand-shake when i decline them.

I still have to deal with daily micro-aggressions and excessive sweating, though, so let’s remember the age-old adage: Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.

❁

Thoughts? Leave a comment; start a conversation! Thank you for reading.